Okay... so first of all, this is kind of bad. Here i go again, contributing little (I assure you it's because I'm extremely busy and thus unsatisfied creatively; I hate posting substandard work!), but reappearing momentarily. I feel incredibly undeserving but I am here to rant today so be warned.
When I was in high school, I can honestly tell you that I was friends with most of my teachers. I'm an intellectual type at heart and was used to being appreciated for being that way, since most teachers are pretty used to being taken for granted.
One, though, who was a replacement for an excellent Japanese teacher, was a clear exception. I hated her. In fact, nearly everyone did. This is why:
- She would tell all us repeatedly that we were stupid
- She WAS stupid (she could barely speak Japanese!)
She spoke Japanese with a clear Australian accent. . THERE IS NO NEED TO DO THAT! Japanese is a phonetic language; there is ONE pronunciation and anyone can learn it in a few hours. Japanese speakers do not say "ay", they say "ei."
- She feared the top kids in the class (including me) and insisted on eroding our self-confidence by humiliating us for such transgressions as my rather small handwriting.
- She directed her lessons at the Japanese kids in our class, who were just there for credit and already fluent (when she didn’t order them to teach the class, mark exams and other stressful teacher roles)
- I was frequently absent from class due to a commitment and would be given incorrect catch-up material that would be repeated in class, and would realise later that I had missed something else important
- Exams and assignments were never about the class content and no revision or quizzes to test our skill were ever given.
- She was the only Japanese teacher, and no one could prove her errors, although all our grades plummeted
To someone who once loved Japan and Japanese, all of this was devastating and frustrating. To this day, I no longer have the same passion for the language and the culture that I had between the ages of 8 and 16.
But the worst thing she did is this: I believed that I needed dux of school to get a scholarship; her terrible, insulting, degrading classes cost me this title! I was equal to another kid, but lost out because of his ‘harder’ subject choices. It would not have been a tie in the first place if my Japanese mark had improved the way my previous teacher had predicted!
And to top it all off, for the first and only year, I did not receive the Japanese subject prize; it went to a Japanese girl who already knew everything we had learnt, because she speaks Japanese at home!
Why would I mention all of this now?
Because, two weeks ago, she showed up at my dance club and has come ever since! It has made me realise that it is very hard to forgive when you have been wronged like this, and even this explanation can't really do it justice. I love to dance, and I dance better than her, but those memories and the stress that she caused me have come flooding back
Gahhh!
*end rant* (everyone breathes a sigh of relief... lol.)
But my optimism that has spanned the last two years continues...
In other, sweeter news, my darling sweet European boyfriend and I celebrated our second anniversary a short time ago. He means everything to me: my best friend, my bandmate, my inspiration, my dance partner, my lover
I am incredibly blessed.
To let everyone know, i have recently made a contact who is constantly encouraging my novel writing, which is coming along nicely when i do get some time, which explains the shocking lack of poetry lately
...Hello... =^.^=
Zeal
More on its way in the next month or two!
Love
Artistic
